


Not a Lovebug, Just a Weird Reaction

by Juneprinx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I've seen maybe 4 Klance lovebug fics and I want my daughter to feel some much-needed love, Literally my first fic in YEARS please go easy on me, Multi, Other, PDA, fluff fluff fluff fluff FLUFF, platonic cuddles and cheek smooches for the soul, platonic lovin!, these kids need to learn how to give each other hugs on a regular basis, this story will be entirely platonic in nature
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:09:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12013422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juneprinx/pseuds/Juneprinx
Summary: The team found a planet that resembled both Earth and Altea so much that they took a day off for a picnic. Their nice day was brought to a somewhat abrupt halt when a creature attacks Pidge. She recovers just fine, but the side effects are a little strange.





	1. It Was Supposed to be a Nice Picnic

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in so long, I could not even begin to tell you how many years it's been. No more than lots and lots and LOTS of fluff and cuddles.  
> This first chapter however, does have a somewhat vivid description of an allergic reaction that involves loss of saliva, desperate face-scratching, and a panic attack (And a brief mention of a needle). If this is too much for you, I have a warning set up so you can just move on to the next chapter, whenever I manage to get that uploaded.  
> I'm open to constructive criticism, so let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Pidge studied the environmental scans on her screen and grinned. She grabbed her helmet and began to tug it off.

“The air’s breathable guys!” She called through the comms before her helmet finally came off with a soft popping sensation. She took a deep breath as she put her helmet under her arm and surveyed her surroundings. One thing she desperately missed was fresh air on earth. Sure, as the resident techie, she generally preferred to be indoors, but after months of traveling and living in a giant castle-ship, she relished in being able to breathe the natural atmosphere on every planet that was safe to do so. Even the most introverted techie needed to come out for air every so often. She heard her teammates taking their own helmets off as well, excited chatter among one another as they all felt the relief of natural air. 

In all honesty, there wasn’t a reason they were on this planet except for the fact that it was close to earth in terms of atmosphere and appearance in some cases. Hunk had had a breakdown in the kitchen the night before when another dish he’d been trying to prepare similarly to how he would on Earth, came out smelling of sewers and tasting like a mix of root beer and curry. Everyone tried to soothe him, saying it tasted fine despite the smell, but he kept crying; It’s not earth food. He was trying so desperately to recreate his favorite dish that his grandmother had taught him with whatever food stuffs they’d been able to find on various planet-stops that might have resembled earth food. He’d attempted the recipe about 4 times before finally letting his frustrated tears pool over. The team had shared his immense homesickness and they brought Hunk out of the kitchen into their common room (or as he and Lance lovingly referred to as the living room). They wrapped him in blankets and Pidge even went as far as allowing Hunk to use her as his personal teddy bear as he released his sadness. Lance even managed to recreate a recipe Hunk had come up with to imitate spaghetti, much to Hunk’s delight and everyone else’s shock. 

Coran and Allura had taken just as much pity on him as the rest of the team did and Coran found a nearby planet that resembled both Earth and Altea, to his delight. The planet even had flowers similar to the Juniberries both he and Allura had grown up with. 

The team spent the day milling about in the field they’d landed in, even going as far as having a picnic in their regular clothes when they had determined there were no civilizations on the planet. It was a break they didn’t realized they needed until Shiro had stretched out on their picnic blanket and started to doze off. It struck everyone just how normal the action was and how badly they’d been craving it. Everyone reminisced and told stories about similar picnics they’d had with their families when they were younger, everyone tearing up a bit with every story.  
It was paradise until Pidge heard the quietest rustling in the grass behind her. She turned and looked out over the grass, trying to identify the noise. Her eyes didn’t pick up on anything, but her ears did. She heard the rustling again and stood up on her knees to try and get a better view of the grass before her. 

“Pidge?” Lance asked. “You look like a meerkat, what’re you doing?” Pidge waved a hand in is direction and shushed him, still focusing on the noise. Everyone’s attention diverted to her now, watching her try to figure out what she heard. When the rustling came again, everyone heard it this time. Hunk instinctively pulled his legs closer to himself as his eyes darted around the field. Even Shiro was roused from his cat nap by the sudden lack of talking. Pidge was standing up now, frustrated by not being able to identify what was coming towards them. She stepped away from the picnic blanket, treading carefully towards….whatever it might be. 

“Pidge, be careful, we don’t know what it is,” Keith warned in a cautious whisper. “We don’t have our bayards either.” Pidge merely nodded to show she’d heard as she took another careful step forward. 

However, when her foot touched the ground, it shifted beneath her and she let out a yelp. It hadn’t actually been the ground that shifted, but what she had stepped on: The source of the rustling. She slipped, trying to find her footing again as whatever this thing was suddenly hissed and shot up from the ground beneath her. Pidge screamed and the rest of the team was shouting her name as the creature struggled around Pidge’s face. After a moment too fast to comprehend, the creature sprayed something into Pidge’s scratched face and promptly used her as a platform to jump off of as it scrambled away, back through the grass. 

[This is the beginning of the description of her allergic reaction. If you're squeamish or if these symptoms are a fear of yours, go ahead and move on to the next chapter!]

Pidge finally reeled backwards, covering her face and sputtering and found herself in someone’s arms as they broke her fall. Her face felt like it was on fire and she barely registered the panicked voices coming from all around her. Pidge felt herself be picked up bridal-style and then being jostled haphazardly as whoever was carrying her began to run. Pidge faintly noted that her glasses were gone as she fiercely rubbed and scratched at her face in a fruitless attempt to lessen the stinging sensation. She couldn’t even voice her discomfort as the spray itched at the walls of her throat, and then began to burn. She desperately tried to clear her throat, coughing and hacking and found her saliva had more or less dried out completely. Her frustration turned into a brutal panic as she tried to swallow saliva that wasn’t there and her breathing became labored and ragged in her panic. Whoever was carrying her was attempting to soothe her and held her tighter.

Pidge felt the cool rush of air as they entered the castle and allowed herself to be babied by whoever was holding her. She was terrified and panicking and could barely hear the voices around her trying to calm her down, but was grateful for them all the same. It felt like an eternity later, like she might die of dehydration before she got the chance to see her family again, before they all reached the medical bay. Dry sobs racked her body at the very thought of dying before being able to find and see her family again, and whoever was carrying her cradled her closer. Suddenly, her position shifted and she felt herself being set down and leaning against something warm. Whatever this warm thing was, also restrained her from scratching at her face by holding her in a fierce bear-hug. She screamed to be let go, but even that hurt on top of everything else and she soon dissolved back into broken sobs as she went slack against the warmth that was holding her down. Something sharp pierced her thigh and her hazy vision went dark.


	2. It's a fixation....right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy howdy am I inconsistent. Let me tell you, school, work, and mental illness do NOT lend themselves well to a non-dedicated writer. Thanks for waiting and for all the Kudos!

The paladins waited impatiently around the pod Pidge resided in. Coran was at the main computer, studying all the scans they’d performed and trying to figure out what was going on. Keith and Allura were searching the Castle’s databases on various forms of wildlife to see if they couldn’t find anything that resembled whatever had attacked Pidge. Shiro, Lance, and Hunk all stood close to the pod, watching her breathe steadily. The pod had long since healed the scratches that were littered all over her face and hands, but that didn’t calm them. None of them had ever seen her in such a panicked state, and their hearts all broke when she began to cry. Hunk and Lance were still crying themselves, hoping their Garrison teammate would be okay. Shiro would never be able to forgive himself if he managed to lose another Holt.

Coran occasionally named chemicals that were foreign to the human body that showed traces of being in Pidge’s system to Allura and Keith to help them narrow their search. Shiro let out a frustrated sigh and managed to tear his eyes away from Pidge long enough to make his way over to Keith and Allura’s search.

“Dude, do you think she’ll be okay?” Hunk mumbled quietly to Lance. The two were sitting on the floor, leaning against the pod and each other. Lance remained silent for a moment before letting out a small huff.

“Pidge? Knowing her, she’s gonna come out of there, put her glasses on, and lecture us about something we should’ve done to make this all go faster,” Lance muttered with a small smile. Hunk chuckled softly in agreement.

“Yeah, she’ll probably just nag us about how obvious it was that there was a simple solution right under our noses,” Hunk said. “It just feels….wrong, though, you know? Pidge just….shouldn’t be behind the glass.” Lance hummed, losing himself to his own thoughts. Hunk did the same as he settled into a comfier position. He threw his arm around Lance and he immediately allowed himself to be pulled into a hug, flopping himself over onto Hunk’s chest without a word.

“You don’t think Pidge is…actually hurt, do you?” Keith whispered to Shiro as he approached. Shiro ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

“I want to say no. But…I have no idea,” Shiro admitted. He met Keith and Allura’s eyes and felt his heart drop even more. “We’ve never run into this situation before, so we don’t exactly have a basis of knowledge to go off of.”

“I’m sure there’s something in these old archives,” Allura said, returning her attention to the screen. “My people were explorers; they documented everything. There has to be __something__.” Her voice strained ever so slightly and tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. Keith put a comforting hand on her shoulder and returned his attention back to the screen as well.

“Don’t you worry, Princess,” Coran muttered from his station in front of Pidge’s vitals. “These pods are meant to bring any living creature that occupies them to a stable condition. Whether there are side effects or not, when Pidge comes out of that pod, we’ll know that she’s stable.” Allura nodded, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her suit.

The medbay was silent after that. The only sound came from the occasional tapping at screens from either Coran or Allura. After a long while, Lance finally broke the silence.

“She reminds me of my siblings,” Lance said aloud. “Or their kids. She acts like my siblings and my nieces and nephews. She’s just…another part of my family, you know? She’s another sister.”

“Matt and Commander Holt would tell me about her,” Shiro said. “That she was absolutely brilliant and going to do great things. They were right…I just…wish they could see it for themselves,” He let out a long sigh before looking at Pidge’s pod.

“She’s definitely like a younger sister, even if she’s not like my younger sisters,” Hunk added. “I don’t know what we’d do without her, I mean, Lance is right, she’s __family__. Half the stuff we do we wouldn’t be able to do without her.”

“I’m an only child,” Allura said quietly. “I’ve never had anyone other than my parents, but there were times when I longed for a sibling. You all have filled that desire in one way or another,” She gave them all a soft smile and sighed. “I think what really solidified that was the food goo fight we had back on Arus. I hadn’t felt so at ease in such a long time and we were all laughing with each other; It wasn’t anything like what I had grown up with. Sure, my parents played with me as a child, but it’s not the same as sharing it with people closer to your own age.” Keith squeezed her shoulder gently in an effort to comfort her.

“AHA!” Everyone jumped at the sudden noise and turned their heads towards where Keith had jumped up, eyes glued to the screen.

“Did you find it?” Hunk asked, getting up and moving towards them. Everyone crowded around the computer as Keith began to read it out loud, save for Coran who remained at Pidge’s vitals screens.

“ _ _Mustelidoviae__ ,” Keith sounded out slowly. “A species found only in the Hinloc Galaxy, though it’s multiple subspecies occupy various planets in the system. This species is considered toxic to many other species of life, but generally not deadly,” A sigh of relief went around the room.

“For the common Altean, being subjected to it’s spray can result in dramatic shifts in personality, emotion, and strong fixations they normally wouldn’t have. It’s effects can be debilitating, even dangerous to others in some cases, but studies have shown most under it’s effect experience a positive shift in their state of mind until the chemicals begin to dissipate.

“The effect of the spray or any other toxins introduced by this species typically wear off of the common Altean within 2-10 Quintants.” Keith finished. Everyone was tense for a moment, allowing the information to sink in. Nobody knew what a change in their resident techie’s personality would mean. Pidge had such a specific, blatant, strong personality that it was hard to imagine her as anything other than herself. The only time Hunk and Lance had seen her do something even resemble acting was just to disguise her true identity at the Garrison, and even that was still just Pidge, determined and brilliant.

Before any of them could really process what the entry meant for their youngest paladin, a hissing sound shook them all from their thoughts. The glass holding Pidge inside the healing pod fell away and Pidge swayed slightly before stepping forward.

“PIDGE!” Everyone yelled before crowding around her. Hunk and Lance scooped her up into a giant hug, both of them nearly crying as they nuzzled her cheeks. Shiro was behind them, ruffling her hair affectionately and Allura was trying to fish Pidge’s hands out from the hug Hunk and Lance had pinned her in. Pidge could only manage a strangled yelp as she was swept up into the commotion so suddenly.

“Aw, Pidgeotto, we were so worried about you!” Lance cried.

“Yeah dude, don’t do that again, that was terrifying,” Hunk said with a slightly strained voice as he tried to hold his tears in. Keith placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder to draw his attention.

“Alright, let her breathe, she hasn’t even said anything yet,” Keith said with relief washing over him. Lance and Hunk set her down and Keith quickly swooped in and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her into a hug that quickly dissolved into a noogie. Pidge could only laugh as she tried to fight him off. “Seriously though,” Keith said as he ruffled his fist into her hair. “Never do that again. That was all kinds of messed up.” He released her from his hold and let her stand up and try to fix her thoroughly noogied hair.

“Hey guys,” Pidge managed with a sore voice. She winced ever so slightly at the raspiness of her throat, but Coran held a glass of water in front of her before she could say anything more.

“It’s good to have you back, number five,” Coran said gently. Pidge took the glass gratefully and downed it in one go. She let out a sigh of relief when the glass was empty and cleared her throat, testing to see how it felt.

“How’re you doing, Pidge?” Shiro asked and handed her her glasses.

“Much better,” Pidge said with a stronger voice, taking them and putting them back on her face. Allura couldn’t hold herself back any longer and threw her hands towards Pidge, grabbing her face and pulling her into a hug.

“We were all so worried about you,” Allura said with a strained voice of her own, tears threatening to fall at any moment. Pidge wrapped her arms hesitantly around Allura and smiled.

“Well, I’m alright now. No need to worry about me,” Pidge said patting Allura’s back awkwardly. “I’m all good.” Allura finally released her and took a small step back to give her some space.

“Are you sure? You don’t feel odd in any way?” Allura asked hesitantly, remembering what the entry said about personality shifts. Pidge looked at her for a moment with a puzzling look before staring into space. Everyone waited while she did a quick inventory check on herself.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m a little hungry, but otherwise I feel fine,” Pidge finally concluded. Everyone exchanged glances with one another and Pidge eyed them all. “What, did you think I was gonna sprout wings or something?”

“As cool as that sounds,” Lance swung an arm over her shoulder and began leading her out of the medbay. “We were not expecting wings. A second head, maybe.” Everyone let out a small laugh and Pidge poked him in the ribs.

“Nah, but we did find out what scratched you,” Hunk said as he walked alongside them. “This thing can affect your personality? Or was it mood swings? It said it shifted something or other.”

“Mood swings? Seriously?” Pidge said incredulously. “That thing that made me feel like I was bursting into flames from the inside out only causes __mood swings__?” She let out a bark of laughter. “This ship is occupied by mostly human teenagers and one Altean teenager. I can only assume that _mood swings_  are going to be inevitable.” Everyone laughed again as they filed out of the medbay and towards the kitchen.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Hunk began searching for various ingredients in an attempt to make anything other than food goo. Pidge climbed up onto the counter and leaned into Lance as he draped his arm over her again. Allura was immediately at Pidge’s other side, grabbing her hand and mindlessly rubbing circles onto Pidge’s hand with her thumb. Keith and Shiro found their way to the opposite counter and leaned against it while Coran wandered around the kitchen with Hunk, fetching whatever Hunk called out for.

“So what kind of mood swings should we be on the lookout for?” Pidge asked with a mischievous grin. “Tantrum mood swings? Crying and stuffing my face mood swings?”

“Actually, the report said the mood swings would be positive,” Coran supplied as he unloaded an armful of ingredients on the counter near Hunk. “So hopefully we won’t be seeing any screaming or crying from you. Maybe you’ll just get a nice fascination with flowers.” Pidge chuckled at that.

“That sounds ridiculous and highly unlikely,” Pidge retorted.

“I dunno, maybe it’ll be fun,” Lance said. He raised his hand from her shoulder and began lazily pulling his fingers through her hair. “That report said you might develop fixations that are generally positive, so maybe you’ll just really want ice cream or sing happy songs all the time. Or you’ll just get even more addicted to your laptop than before.” Allura hummed from Pidge’s other side as she continued her absent-minded hand massage.

“Regardless of the fixation, we’ll all be here to make sure you don’t hurt yourself,” Allura assured her. Pidge scoffed and raised her hand to her chest in mock formality.

“Why, _thank you_ , Princess.” Pidge said dramatically, imitating Allura's accent horribly. “I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.” Allura pouted at her mockery and everyone tried to stifle their own laughter.

“How are we supposed to know what the fixation is?” Keith asked after everyone’s muffled laughter died down.

“I mean, it shouldn’t be too hard to find out,” Hunk said as he began chopping up….some sort of food-looking thing. Whether it was a fruit or vegetable was anyone’s guess. “Whenever we see Pidge doing something she doesn’t normally do, that should be enough of a tip-off.”

“You mean like her letting you all cuddle her from the moment she stepped out of the pod?” Shiro suggested. Everyone’s eyes went wide, including Pidge’s. They all turned to her and realized that she hadn’t swatted away any of their reaching hands of affection at all since she’d come out of the pod. Pidge immediately flushed a deep red and ducked her head to avoid everyone’s stares.

“AWW, PIIIIIIDGE!” Lance cooed loudly as he brought her in for a tight hug. “YOU LOVE US!” Pidge let out a muffled sound into Lance’s chest that nobody could quite make out. Lance released her from his bone-crushing hug, but didn’t take his arms away. Instead of retracting from the hug however, Pidge buried her face back against Lance’s chest, gripping his shirt and trying to hide her face with it. Lance blushed a little, but brushed off her actions as the result of the strange spray.

“That is possibly the cutest result I could’ve ever hoped for,” Hunk grinned. “Pidge’s obsessed with _cuddling_. This is the best, I’ve been trying to get you to just sit next to me while we watch movies since we first became a team at the Garrison.”

“Why cuddling?” Keith asked. “Maybe she’s just happy to be alive after being attacked. I mean, I wouldn’t turn down a hug after almost dying. And you all call me the loner.”

“Well,” Pidge managed to squeak from Lance’s chest. “Lance and Hunk were snuggling me from all sides the moment I stepped out of the pod and…..it felt…so _nice_ ,” She blushed so deeply that it disappeared under the collar of her shirt. “It was the first thing I processed happening and …. I liked it. So if what you say is true…and that report says I would develop some kind of positive fixation? I can only imagine it’d be this.”

“Even when you’re under the effects of something completely foreign, you’re still as sharp and observant as ever,” Allura said with a smile. She rested a hand on Pidge’s back and heard the smallest sigh from Pidge.

“So, what, we’re all on babysitting duty now?” Lance asked. Pidge pinched his sides to make him yelp and she immediately turned to Allura to bury her face in her shoulder instead.

“I’m not a baby, Lance,” Pidge grumbled from Allura’s embrace. “And yes, while it’s nice, it’s not a necessity….that I’m aware of. Nobody needs to babysit me and nobody even has to do this if they’re not comfortable with it.” Her breath hitched ever so slightly and leaned away from Allura to look her in the face. “I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I?” Allura giggled and stroked Pidge’s hair comfortingly, gently tugging her back down into her shoulder.

“Not at all, Pidge.” Allura said. Pidge smiled brightly and nuzzled herself back into Allura’s warm embrace. Hunk made a squeaking noise and placed a hand over his heart at the sight.

“This is seriously _so cute_ you guys,” Hunk said with tears in his eyes. He walked over towards the girls and held out the plate of food towards them. Pidge perked up and grabbed the plate, opting to lean against Allura’s embrace so she could use her arms. Allura wrapped her arms around Pidge’s middle and Hunk waved his hand in front of his eyes to try to will the tears away.

“Oh my quiznak, Hunk,” Pidge managed through a mouthful of food. “This is _amazing_.” She sat up straight and leaned towards Hunk, waving for him to come closer to her. Hunk obliged, reaching an arm around her for a hug, but to his surprise, she placed a soft kiss to his cheek before pulling back and leaning contentedly against Allura. Hunk was frozen in place with his face absolutely _burning_. Everyone else seemed just as shocked at the display, but Pidge didn’t seem to be entirely bothered, all too focused on the delicious food. After a moment of complete silence (save for Pidge’s quiet eating), Lance finally snapped out of the shock they were all under and clapped a hand against Hunk’s shoulder to bring him back to life.

“Right, well!” Lance said louder than necessary. “Pidge’s alright and Hunk’s an amazing cook. Sounds like a good day, so I'm headed to bed.” Hunk nodded slowly.

“Uhhhhhh, y-yeah,” Hunk managed as he tried to recover from Pidge’s PDA. “I’m with Lance, it’s been….a _long_ day….” Lance managed to help Hunk out of the kitchen and off towards their respective rooms before falling into frantic whispers. Pidge watched them go sadly, not being able to even manage to say goodnight around the food in her mouth. She settled for letting out a disappointed whimper and swallowing, scraping the last bits of the food onto her spork.

“Yes, I do suppose some rest will do us all some good,” Coran coughed and made his way to leave. “Goodnight paladins! Tomorrow it’s back to training!”

“Yeah, tomorrow we need to get back on schedule. We’ve taken a day off and while it wasn’t….exactly what we thought it would be, it’s still a day off,” Shiro agreed. Pidge and Allura made twin pouting faces that nearly struck Shiro through the heart if he didn’t look away in time. “First thing after breakfast, we hit the training deck. I’ll go make sure that Lance and Hunk are aware as well.” Pidge scrambled off the counter and quickly tossed her dishes into the sink before turning heel towards Shiro.

“Shiro wait!” Pidge called as he was crossing the threshold to the hall. Shiro turned around only to be met with a force to his gut that caused him to stumble a bit with an _oomph_. Pidge was wrapped around him in a hug and giving him a dazzling smile that nearly made his heart stop. “The other two didn’t even let me say goodnight to them,” Pidge pouted before grabbing the collar of Shiro’s shirt and tugging him down with a surprising amount of force. She quickly pecked his cheek and released her hold of his shirt. “So, goodnight, Shiro!” Allura and Keith’s eyes were wider than ever as they watched Pidge metaphorically wrap Shiro around her finger. Shiro’s face was red and hotter than a chili pepper, but he cleared his throat and stood up straight again as Pidge wandered back over to Allura and Keith.

“U-uhm, goodnight, Pidge,” He managed before walking briskly away. Pidge was already leaning against Allura again, humming contentedly. Allura and Keith exchanged a bewildered look before Allura nodded towards the door. Keith nodded and did his best to sneak out of the kitchen as quickly and quietly as possible. To no avail, of course.

“Keith, are you going to bed?” Pidge called before grabbing the back of his jacket. Keith froze on the spot and barely turned his head to glance at the girl holding him back. He exchanged a fearful look with Allura and the door before sighing and turning to face Pidge.

“Yeah, I am,” He relented, holding out his arms. “Come here, I guess.” Pidge’s face lit up and she nearly launched herself at him, holding him tighter than anyone ever had before in his life. He managed to let out a wheeze as he patted Pidge’s shoulder and she giggled as she release her death-hold on him.

“Sorry,” She said through her giggles. She reached up and gently took the back of Keith’s neck as she rose on her tiptoes. She barely grazed her lips across Keith’s cheek and whispered, “Goodnight, Keith.” Before lowering back down and taking a step back. Keith was sure his face matched his jacket at that point and turned to leave, mumbling a strangled “Goodnight” as he absconded. Allura was the only one left in the kitchen with Pidge and the two paladins studied each other for a moment before Allura extended her hand toward her teammate. A blush began to dust across Pidge’s cheeks as she took Allura’s hand and began their own walk towards everyone’s rooms.

“Are you going to be okay?” Allura asked as they stopped in front of Pidge’s door. Pidge was fidgeting a little, her eyes were unreadable. She looked like she was struggling, but finally she took a deep breath and looked at Allura.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Pidge reassured her. She tugged on Allura’s hand a little to bring her closer and stood on her toes again as she quickly kissed Allura’s cheek. “Goodnight, Allura,” Pidge whispered before retreating into her room. Allura stood still for a moment before placing a hand on the spot Pidge had kissed her. She chuckled quietly to herself as she made her way toward her own room for the night, her hand never leaving her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa nelly, everyone's out of character!! Pidge just wants everyone know how much she loves them. Sorry again for not being consistent....period. it's been one heck of a month. Here's hoping I get a bit better at each character as this story runs away from me!


	3. Itch

Pidge sat on her bed in her room staring at nothing. Her leg was bouncing and her skin was crawling. A single mantra played repeatedly in her head: _it’s just a fixation, you don’t need it_.

 

Despite her mantra, she felt restless without someone nearby. She got up and began pacing, making a futile attempt to shake off the edge of the itch under her skin. It really wasn’t like she was going to die if she didn’t have someone warm to lean on. She knew that. But it made her anxiety launch like a rocket.

 

Pidge groaned and flopped back onto her bed, pulling her pillow over her face in hopes that she might just pass out. When that didn’t work, she sat up and threw the pillow at the wall in frustration. With a deep breath, she tried to steady herself with logical thinking.

 

 _It’s not a necessity. You aren’t going to die from not being to cuddle anyone, for quiznak’s sake. Just calm down._ Pidge flopped back on her bed again and stared at the ceiling. __I_ t’s not like you can just waltz up to the guys and ask if you can sleep with them for the night. That’s like, every kind of wrong wording. And Allura’s out of the question because she’s the princess for crying out loud. _Pidge’s breath hitched when she felt a familiar purr in the back of her mind. _Green, of course!_ Pidge stood up and quickly left for Green’s hangar.

 

Pidge approached the green lion with the sensation of fondness draping over her like a blanket fresh out of a dryer. Pidge felt the itch under her skin settle ever so slightly as she drew closer to her lion.

 

“Hey girl,” Pidge said quietly. “You’ll never believe what happened today.” She climbed on top of Green’s paw, one of her favorite places to sit and work, and told her lion everything. Rushes of sympathy clouded Pidge’s mind as she told her the story. When Pidge was done, she snuggled up closer against Green’s cold metal and curled up against it happily. Green was doing her best to imitate the feeling of warmth in Pidge’s mind and that was enough for her.

 

“You’re the only one I could think of that wouldn’t be weird about me sleeping with you,” Pidge admitted quietly. It felt as though Green was wrapping herself around Pidge’s consciousness and settling down around her, easing Pidge into a much sleepier state of mind. Pidge sighed happily and allowed her eyes to shut. It might not be the same as another flesh and blood body against her own, but it was the next best thing.

 

<><><><><><>

 

Pidge didn’t know how long she was asleep, but by the screaming ache behind her eyes, it couldn’t have been more than a couple hours. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, battling the fatigue clawing at her throat and threatening to make her yawn. Green gently nudged her mind, insisting she go back to sleep, but Pidge just couldn’t shake the itch that was crawling over her entire being now. Upset, but understanding, Green let Pidge slide off her paw with affection pouring into her paladin’s mind. Pidge thanked her before leaving the hangar.

 

She padded down the hallway in bare feet for a little while before wondering what to do or where to go next. Her heart dropped, realizing she was back at square one. Pidge chewed at the corner of her bottom lip for a moment. A million options scrolled like code behind her eyes as she tried to figure out what could conceivably help her feel better without getting yelled at.

 

Her feet began moving again unconsciously. She moved through the halls while she thought, her mind racing as she blindly weaved through the castle.

 

Pidge didn’t even realize she had been running until she came to a hard stop in the middle of the hallway of everyone’s bedrooms. Her breathing was heavy and the only sound in her ears besides her pounding heartbeat. She suddenly felt dizzy, overwhelmed by the fire beneath her skin and not knowing what to do or where to go. Everything became a blur and the anxiety ripped through her.

 

With a strangled gasp, Pidge collapsed in a heap on the floor, sobbing as quietly as she could manage and shaking hard. Her skin was on fire and her poor attempt at regaining her breath had turned into frantic hyperventilating. She was so overwhelmed by the chaos consuming her that she didn’t even register her name being called. She was only minutely more aware of hands moving her into a different position. It was brief, that much she understood, until the movement became much more encompassing. The blazing fire beneath her skin immediately cooled to a soft buzz before vanishing completely. The sensation of drowning underwater began to fade and she finally was able to register the voice.

 

“...dge?”

 

“.………….ar me?”

 

“.…idge……eed you to b……th me…ay?” A hand wrapped around her own and placed it on something. It didn’t leave her hand but rather kept it there as whatever it was placed on began to move slowly. As it was the only sensation she could really process, she narrowed all of her focus on to that. She heard the exaggerated deep breath accompanying the movement and began to copy it.

 

“There we go….”

 

“Pidge? Can you hear me?” Pidge’s breathing had slowed significantly and her body felt nearly numb, but she managed to look up at the owner of this voice. Her bloodshot eyes met a very worried Shiro’s.

 

“S-sorry…” Pidge croaked quietly. Shiro’s worried brow rose up in surprise.

 

“Wh-Pidge, you have nothing to apologize for,” Shiro reassured softly. “Can you tell me what happened?” Pidge looked around and saw that they were in Shiro’s room and he was practically cradling her in his arms. She did her best to retrace her steps before the anxiety attack had overcome her. Her brow furrowed in concentration.

 

“I….everyone went to bed,” Pidge started, her eyes focused on a single point in space. “Allura walked me back to my room and I told her I’d be okay. But…..but when…when I was in my room and alone, everything felt wrong. I kept telling myself I didn’t _need_ to be on someone to not feel weird and that it’d be weird to ask someone if I could sleep with them.” She scrunched her nose at that, remembering the poor wording her mind seemed to be coming up with regarding that.

 

“I couldn’t calm down, but then I remembered Green,” She continued after shaking her head a little. “I went down to see Green and she helped me fall asleep for a little bit, but it wasn’t the same as being near one of you guys. She tried her best. My skin felt like it was burning after a couple hours.” Pidge stifled a yawn. “I didn’t really know what I was doing after that.Then I was outside in the hall and…kinda just…lost it, I guess,” Pidge took a shaky breath and curled in a little closer to Shiro’s embrace. Shiro tightened his arms around Pidge, quiet for a moment and letting this new information sink in. Pidge’s non-toxin-induced anxiety began climbing again after admitting all of this to an unresponsive Shiro. She felt her heart begin to pick up the pace a little more when Shiro suddenly let out a long sigh. She looked up at him nervously and saw his own upset expression, not really understanding what it might mean. Was he uncomfortable with her being here? He had PTSD, everyone knew that, and maybe she had interrupted the little sleep he was actually able to get. Guilt twisted her stomach like a tie-dye spinner.

 

“Oh, Pidge…” Shiro said quietly. He pulled her into his chest as tightly as was comfortable and gently placed a kiss into her hair, much to her surprise. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it would be so painful for you to not be near someone.” Pidge felt tears threatening to fall despite just how safe and comfortable she felt being pressed flush against Shiro’s chest. Shiro pulled away a little to look her in the eye. “You never need to hesitate about asking for help, especially with this….weird toxin thing causing you real discomfort. Any of us would be willing to help you at the drop of a hat, you know that, right?” Pidge gave him a tear-stained grin and chuckled a little.

 

“Or at the drop of a Pidge?” She joked. Shiro blinked once as he processed the joke before his face broke into a bright smile and he began laughing. Pidge giggled at first, wiping the tears away before allowing herself to laugh with Shiro. As their laughing subsided Pidge squirmed a little before looking at Shiro guiltily.

 

“I didn’t wake you did I?” She asked tentatively. Shiro’s eyes widened ever so slightly.

 

“Not at all, I was…actually awake myself,” Shiro admitted. “I promise you didn’t wake me, Pidge.”

 

“Did you have another nightmare?” Pidge even softer. She searched his shocked face for any tell-tale signs of lying as he gathered his thoughts.

 

“Yeah…but I’m alright now,” He tried to give a reassuring smile. Pidge pouted and reached her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug of her own.

 

“Is it okay if I stay here tonight?” Pidge whispered. Shiro's grip on her tightened ever so slightly and she could feel his heart beating in his chest.

 

“Of course, Katie,” Shiro whispered back. Pidge tensed slightly at the sound of her name before hugging him tighter. He almost didn’t catch the quiet __thank you__  she whispered if it weren’t for her breath against his neck. He barely breathed a __thank you__  of his own before suddenly shifting. He still had Pidge in his arms, so he lifted her from his lap and placed her on his bed before moving to turn the lights down. Pidge began pulling back the covers as she watched Shiro turn the lights down. When he didn't turn them completely off, she gave him quizzical look that he returned with a sheepish grin.

 

“Is this okay?” He asked hesitantly. “I don’t like being…in uh…in complete darkness if I can avoid it.” Pidge’s eyes widened at the confession and her imagination began racing with various scenes of Shiro in Galra Prisoner garb being locked in dark cells. Her thoughts quickly shifted to her brother and father in similar situations and felt her throat beginning to constrict with more oncoming tears. She cleared her throat to force the strain of tears aside.

 

“This is perfect, Shiro,” She reassured him. “I sleep with the light from my laptop blaring into my face all the time, so this is just fine.” She reached her arms out to him, already feeling the itch begin to buzz beneath her skin. Shiro smiled with relief and made his way back to bed and sat next to Pidge. Pidge allowed him to get settled before curling into his side. Her tears broke through her attempts to keep them in and immediately soaked into Shiro's shirt, but she couldn't even manage an apology. After a long moment, she sniffed and cleared her throat again.

 

“Shiro, are Matt and dad locked in dark cells?” She strained to whisper. Pidge felt Shiro's arms moving and she was in his embrace again, being cradled by his Galra arm and intertwining his human fingers with hers across  his chest.

 

“I couldn’t say,” Shiro admitted. “I was given….uh…’ _ _special treatment__ ’ as The Champion, so I didn’t get much of an idea as to how other prisoners were treated.” Pidge curled into his side even more and failed to hide a choked sob. “But you know, you already found out that a group of rebels broke Matt out, so I can almost guarantee he’s not sleeping in any dark cells.” Pidge froze just for half a second, shocked that she’d forgotten about the status of her brother. Her tears stopped though and she nuzzled her face against Shiro’s side again.

 

“Thank you, Shiro,” Pidge whispered. Shiro squeezed her fingers gently with his own. After just a few minutes, Pidge’s breathing evened out to a slow beat. Shiro was entranced by it, not knowing just how comforting it was to have someone nearby that he cared about, safe, breathing, by his side. Delighted by this new discovery, he allowed himself to relax as he listened to Pidge’s steady breathing like a lullaby and fell into the best sleep he’d had since long before the Kerberos mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you guys, I'm so good at updating on a schedule. Thanks for being patient with me! I'll try to think of something for Keith's birthday, even if it's super off.

**Author's Note:**

> tl;dr: It's all a panicked blur for poor Pidge. What a doozy! Thanks for reading!


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